I am in a body that doesn't work right. I'm supposed to zig… but I can only zag.

I still love it, still grateful for it. We only get one and I fly mine like a pro.

It doesn't make me worth less because my meatsuit is broken, faulty, or unreliable.

It makes me extraordinary.

Constantly stretching and generating more capacity to handle my circumstances.

It's made me stronger, more creative, adaptive, resilient.

I didn't get to choose this meatsuit but I still have agency.

Because I stay OMOS*.

I control the atmosphere in the cockpit… the soundtrack of my life.

I am proud of everything I've accomplished despite all the challenges.

I am a Faulty Meatsuit Pilot and I'm the only one licensed to fly this model.

*On My Own Side

✈ The Founders Run

This is the official Founders run of Faulty Meatsuit Pilot merch. I'm a Faulty Meatsuit Pilot myself, so I don't want the hassle of sitting on inventory.

So this first run is preorder only. No shelf stock, no "buy it anytime." When the window closes, I make exactly what got ordered. Then that's it until my next design.

That means every shirt and hat in this batch is capped at whatever comes in during this window. No reprints, no restocks, no "I'll get it later." If you're in, you're one of the first people showing the world that you fly your faulty meatsuit with pride.

✈ The Set

One Faulty Meatsuit Pilot graphic tee and one Faulty Meatsuit Pilot dad cap in one order, priced lower than buying them separately. Choose men's or women's cut, color, and size for the shirt, and Pink or Stone for the hat.

The full look, ready to fly.

✈ The Shirt

Printed on Gildan Softstyle® blanks: ring-spun cotton with a noticeably smoother, softer hand-feel than a standard tee.

Faulty Meatsuit Pilot logo, placed gently over your heart and on your back.
Made with 100% 4.5 oz. ring-spun cotton
Taped neck and shoulders for comfort and durability
Men's cut: crew neck, modern classic fit, rib collar. Sizes S to 3XL
Women's cut: V-neck, semi-fitted, narrow rib collar, side seams. Sizes S to 2XL

✈ The Hat

A classic, easygoing dad cap: unstructured, low-profile, and 100% cotton, with a buckle closure so it sits exactly the way you want it to.

Unstructured 6-panel dad cap, low profile, curved bill
100% cotton
Antique brass buckle closure, one size fits most
Matching underbill, 4 rows of stitching on the bill
Faulty Meatsuit Pilot logo printed on the front panel, placed off-center on purpose. Faulty meatsuit and all.
Colors: Pink or Stone
Free shipping on orders over $35

✈ Fit + Sizing

Not sure which size? Lay a shirt you already like flat, measure it, and compare it to the charts below.

Men's cut

Size	Width (in)	Length (in)	Sleeve (in)
S	18	28	15.75
M	20	29.25	17
L	22	30.25	18.25
XL	24	31.25	19.5
2XL	26	32.5	20.75
3XL	28	33.5	22

Women's cut

Size	Chest (in)	Length (in)	Sleeve (in)
S	17	25	13.75
M	18	26	14.25
L	19.5	27	15.125
XL	20.5	27.75	15.625
2XL	23	28	16.5

Garments measured flat. Width and chest are pit-to-pit, not your body's chest circumference.

✈ Preorder Timing

Preorders close: November 23rd, 2026 Expected to ship: by December 7th, 2026

You're paying now so I can print exactly enough, not one more. You'll get email updates both when the preorder period closes and as soon as your order ships.

Your meatsuit doesn't have to work perfectly for you to love the hell out of flying it. ✈️

FREE Shipping over $35! (USA Shipping Only)

Dad Hat ~ Faulty Meatsuit Pilot

You may also like

Customer Reviews

Average Ratings

Write a review

SHOP

HELP